30 DATES ON…WHERE IS THE ONE?

Despite me seeing guy after guy, 30 weeks have just flown by. Where is The One that’s talked about? I’ve texted, flirted, shown my pout. I chased them down across the street, and had dates from Tinder- no mean feat. Geeks and bankers, lawyers too, try as I might second dates were few.

What is the trick, where is the key, to find a man who fancies me?

Who loves his friends and has a good job, is tall and handsome like my friend Rob? They all say it’s a numbers game, so play I have, I’m not to blame. London dating is a funny scene, most guys are cool but some are mean.

I’d never met a ghost before but on my challenge I met four.

You message back and forth for days, you talk of travel, art and plays.

You even go out on a date, and have lots of fun as if it’s fate.

And then the silence follows you, and makes you wonder what did I do?

My friends all say that I’m a catch and yet I had to pay on Match.

Paid dating sites, they are the worst, no man will ever message first.

All the guys take the free trial, and there’s no one local within a mile.

Then there’s The Ones who are photoshopped or in their pics have girlfriends cropped.

Until you meet them in person though, I guess that you can never know,

What they look like in real life or whether they do have a wife.

Speed dating though does have its highs, as some good men arrive in ties.

These guys don’t seem to get out much, and never have felt a lady’s touch.

But for the record, let it show, that awkward night is a no-go.

4 minutes does not seem that long, 'til Bert from Tesco keeps going strong.

So now my challenge is at the end, no more dull nights will I have to spend,

in the company of a Bumble nerd or a musician who wants a dolly bird. But what to do, and where to go? I aimed up high but ended low.

I’ve made some friends out of my dates, but I really didn’t need more mates.

I guess I’ll have to soldier on, until on one hundred dates I’ve gone.

Then maybe it will all be all done, and I will meet that elusive One.

8 May 2017

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