The Croatian pigeon plot
Updated: Dec 16, 2020
Alanis Morissette would have been proud. I wanted to stand while we waited for the bus to the Plitvice Lakes, but a nice lady moved over and insisted I sit down next to The Boyfriend. I sat down so as not to be impolite and was promptly subject to the ablutions of the pigeon stationed above.
According to Balkan traditions, it is considered good luck to be pooped on by our feathery friends so I ignored the guffaws of The Boyfriend and discreetly removed the droppings from my hair and day bag.
The coach soon arrived and I managed to get on first - a positive omen, I thought. Having secured us good seats, I peered out of the window to see The Boyfriend getting yelled at by the driver who was gesticulating wildly at our backpacks. It transpired that we ought to have paid for the hold luggage, not that this was mentioned anywhere on the website we booked through.
At this point, another flying rat defecated on my other travel bag, which The Boyfriend delighted in photographing. Perhaps this was the catalyst for the driver's change of heart: after what may have been a bribe of €2, our luggage was finally stowed. Thank you, pigeon gods.
A few minutes into the journey, the conductor walked up to us and started shouting at my poor Boyfriend, in Croatian, about holding everyone up for 10 mins. We presumed this is what he was saying because we don't speak Croatian, like most of the world. Sadly, there were no birds to save us this time so we just apologised profusely and tried to avoid eye contact with our fellow passengers.