Kelly
DATE 10 – THE BEARDED BALDIE ONE
Updated: Feb 25, 2020
The shiny bald head with beard combination really grabbed my attention in his profile pictures, plus his flagrant disregard for online dating etiquette: he did not have the required topless gym selfie, the unhygienic toilet mirror selfie or the picture with a poor sedated animal in some horrific Asian tourist attraction. His write up was original and self deprecating but it was the sexy biker side of him that sealed the deal.
We actually had an interesting and normal few days of messaging online and on WhatsApp. He seemed a bit too good to be true – a sick children’s senior nurse, not interested in money, loves mindfulness and riding to beautiful places on his bike. My online defences went up! He suggested that for our first date we go ice skating at the British History Museum. How novel and original. It was difficult to keep my expectations in check at this point.
We met at South Kensington station in amongst three thousand tired commuters. He was easy to spot with his bright purple bobble hat. And purple lined coat. Purple jumper. Purple bag tag. And purple shoe laces. Alarm bells began to ring but it was too late to back out as he had already paid for the tickets.
Thankfully, he exuded tranquillity and peacefulness which immediately put me at ease. We had a hot chocolate and shared a plate of chips before venturing out on to the ice. We stumbled around awkwardly for a few rounds then my confidence grew a little so after a few solo rounds I decided to try skating backwards. Hindsight tells it is a terrible idea to show off on a first date on ice. All I have to show for it is a massive bruise on the derriere and a huge dent in my pride.
Afterwards there was the awkward do-we-go-do-we-stay moment. I suggested grabbing some food together. He said no but suggested a drink which made me a little anxious as I felt he was just being polite. However, we ended up spending nearly two hours in Pret’s window chatting and people watching.

Turns out he has a phobia of eating in front of new people. Phew. Now I have to wait to see if he likes me as much as I like him.
11 November 2016