DATE 26 – THE ONE WITH THE THIRD WHEEL
Updated: Feb 27
It took me a few days to get over the bizarre rejection of the guy I chased last week (who is no longer counted as Date 26). I’ll be honest, it knocked my usually unassailable self-confidence. In fact, so confused and dumbfounded was I, that I plumbed the depths of depravity and did something I had always sworn to avoid…..
I joined Tinder.
In a very short while, I got swiped out with the sheer number of six packs, #YOLOs and the fickleness of dating life. I dutifully swiped and made a few matches. I blew all my usual rules and only 8 hours after we matched, this very tall ginger guy and I made a plan to have some Sunday drinks together in Watford.
We met at his local, a cheap version of a Whetherspoons where everyone is either underage or overage and it’s hard to move without being groped by a beer belly. I called my Tinder date Tom which I later found out wasn’t his name (I’d mixed him up with another Tinder match) though he didn’t really get a chance to correct me at that point because Russell stumbled up to him, offering him a handshake as if they were long lost buddies.
You know Russell. There’s always a Russell in these sad drinking holes. All the bar girls know Russell and know exactly where to stand just out of Russell’s reach. Russell knows all the prices of all the beers and despite this Russell always tries to short change the bar girls by 15 pence. Russell is unaware of normal social etiquette so stands too close to Tom and commandeers the conversation despite it being quite clear that Tom wants to talk to the girl he’s on a date with. Tom also gets brownie points from me for his kindness and patience towards Russell.
Tom and I moved out of Russell’s eye line towards the pool tables in the hope that the vast quantities of cheap booze he had consumed would cause him to forget us. We should be so lucky. Russell gave me continual pointers on how to play pool even though I won 2-1 against Tom. Tom was very gentlemanly and I have a sneaking suspicion that he may have let me win to make up for his new best friend joining us all night. Russell was very disappointed when we left later on and called me a “grumpy c***” when I politely declined yet another drink from him.
I have a second date with him on Friday at Waterloo. Not Russell and me, just to be clear.
3 April 2017