DATE 28 – THE CLASSIC ONE
Updated: Feb 27, 2020
Sometimes a stereotype is spot on. Sometimes a stereotype is so accurate that you feel the person is pulling your leg and you’re secretly the main character in one of those prank shows.
I rocked up on my bike in Berkhamstead town centre where I was greeted by a stooped, bespectacled, private-school, Latin teacher complete with a woolly jumper, sporting trainers with huge coloured circles on them. His first words were, “Oh my! …You’re so cool…. I’m a geek….. Oh dear.” He then wittered nervously on and on for the first half an hour. He started by educating me on how the Roman Numeral system works, then explained in great detail the game of Eton Fives (a posh boys’ school version of squash from what I gathered) and finally told me all about how he hadn’t been promoted after 10 years as a teacher. I spent most of these conversations looking around me for the candid cameras to jump out and say “MIRUM". No one appeared.
Eventually, his nervous energy dissipated and he finally asked me a question as we walked around the ruins of the motte-and-bailey castle.
I realised he wasn’t really listening to my response as he was wincing in pain. He happily told me how his knees were damaged from some recent sporting activity, eager to show a cooler, more daring side of him. This explained why he had hobbled like an old man behind me down the high street. He stumbled up the ruins as we climbed to the peak of the Norman fortress. In hindsight, this may not have been the best choice of date activity. Poor chap.
The rest of the date improved as he relaxed a bit after our historic walk. We walked along the canal and into town where we had coffee and cake in an old antiques shop. The rocky road slice that he consumed unfortunately refilled him with a nervous (sugary) energy which accompanied us all the way back to my bike. After one final glance for the hidden cameras, I gave him a hug – the first in his geeky life it would seem – and departed.
*That’s surprise! in Latin
17 Apri 2017