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  • Writer's pictureKelly


Updated: Feb 25, 2020

I walked out of the ticket barriers at Old Street to see a very prettily posed man in the pre-described baby blue jumper, very nonchalantly reading a newspaper whilst very precisely leaning against a wall.

Smiling to myself I walked up to him. Our first conversation:

Me, cheerfully: “Hi, I’m really glad you were wearing that jumper or I’d not have recognised you!” Him, unimpressed: “Well thanks, are you saying you wouldn’t have recognised my face otherwise?” Me, backtracking: “Erm……. no, I just meant that I might not have spotted you with all these people.” Him, unimpressed: “I’m flattered” (he wasn’t). Me, desperately changing the subject: “Excuse me being out of breath, I just walked up the stairs !” Him, unimpressed: “It’s only 5 stairs, it’s not hard.” Me, confused: “Well, shall we find a drink? Do you know around here?” Him, unimpressed: “Wouldn’t it be better to check if I know the area before arriving?”

I should have left at this point. The date didn’t get better. He talked about himself constantly and how much his family don’t like him. I couldn’t possibly work out why that might be. Oh, and later on he told me he thought my smile was fake when I met him.

There was Jenga. Thank goodness there was Jenga. I beat him twice. Small victories.\

25 September 2016

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