top of page
  • Writer's pictureKelly


Updated: Feb 27, 2020

I had a good feeling about this date, an unexpected sentiment when you’ve been on the dating scene for a couple of years. He was everything one wouldn’t expect to find on Tinder: his bio said he was educated, family-orientated and owns his own flat. I was looking forward to our walk along South Bank to The Golden Hinde. On the day of our date, he sent me a picture of the jacket that he’d be wearing, oddly along with its price tag (a noticeable £169). I had second thoughts about wearing my Primark coat so changed into my slightly nicer Tesco one….

The Thames is so beautiful at night and though cold, the evening air was fresh. He was a smooth-talking, well-paid, senior salesman for some IT software company, thus conversation was easy and when we chatted about philosophy he even mentioned that he was a Catholic.

However, in only what I can imagine was a bid to impress, he started giving me an inventory of all the expensive consoles he owned. When he then raved on about his 60″ LED TV, I began to notice a theme in his conversation: namely how affluent he thought he was. Now wealth isn’t a priority for me – of course I also like money – but I’m more interested in experiences than items. I tried to bring our chat onto travels but this somehow turned into a story about how he kept telling his nephew to stay in school so that he could earn as much as him and… travel!

Money really does makes you go round the world…..

We eventually reached the wonderful replica of Francis Drake’s galleon and stopped for a drink at the pub, sitting outside under the heaters overlooking the river. I moved the talk on to education but it turned out that he hadn’t been completely honest about going to university. Then he got all defensive, claiming that he never actually said he’d finished university only that he’d gone to University X. It transpired that he was very proud of being in such a highly paid job since he’d dropped out but no! He hadn’t lied to his employers! They’d never actually asked if he had completed the course! Things took a turn downhill at this point because I unwisely pointed out that in Catholic theology lies of omission are still immoral and he should say a Hail Mary.

Unsurprisingly, I did not hear back from him but maybe he is still at church praying. Or buying a bigger TV.

6 February 2018

Next post: The Mancunian

Previous post: Cupid's Bow

8 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All
bottom of page